When Worlds Collide

When I was in grade school, I remember thinking of my teachers in very two-dimensional terms. Their personalities and the fabric of their existence did not, in my mind, extend beyond school. I only knew them within the confines of the school walls, and within the paradigm of the teacher-student relationship. Gradually that began to change in high school, and was shattered in college.

However, now I find myself on the other side of that equation, and I am finding it equally difficult to imagine my kids in any circumstances other than what I experience first hand at school. That all changed slightly this week when I had a short conversation with a concerned parent.

The inciting incident occurred when a boy, Sky, hit another student with a lunch tray. I didn’t see it directly, but from the reaction I didn’t have much choice but to send Sky out of the classroom for punishment. (With 12 students in the classroom, I’m liable to get 12 different stories of how the events unfolded, so I try to be as just as I can).

The next morning my Korean Teacher, Rachel, informed me that her mother was very unhappy with my punishment of her son (who claimed it was an accident) and was going to come in to have a meeting with our director. Great.

This might be a good time to explain my on-going struggles I’ve had with Sky. He’s easily the lowest-level student in the class. I don’t begrudge his lack of English ability, but I’m far more concerned about his overall effort in class. He’s already been at our school for over a year, but many of our brand-new students have already surpassed him in skill.

I wasn’t invited to sit in on the meeting with our director, but Sky’s mother did approach me after. Her English was very broken, but I understood her concerns with crystal clarity. She explained that she was a working mother and her English was not very good. She hesitated, and then continued, “Sky father. He…good English…but…” She trailed off and looked down, “He like…” and she made a gesture like she was drinking. We chatted for a few more minutes, and I promised her I would keep trying to work with Sky.

So, he has an alcoholic, possibly abusive, father and a working mother. I’m guessing studying English isn’t his top priority.

Am I going to treat him differently now, knowing what I now know? I don’t think I’ve treated him unfairly thus far, but I’ll probably cut him a little more slack. Like parenting, there is no one, right way to teach a child, and every child needs different  stimuli and challenges to thrive. And in teaching, just like the world at large, when worlds collide and knowledge is gained, we can use this new perspective to adapt to changing realities, and more forward with the best possible solutions.